Real Life by Melissa Kite

Author:Melissa Kite
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781780335162
Publisher: Little, Brown Book Group

5

The Gamekeeper Is Always Right

In which I try to fill the yawning gap in my life with a trail-riding holiday that inevitably doesn’t go according to plan.

Your friends may not agree with you about getting straight back on the holiday bucking bronco.

‘I just think you should stop going on holidays,’ said Sally. ‘I’m not sure I can take the stress of another one.’

To be fair to her, she had had to pick up the pieces after my traumatic trip to St Tropez by counselling me at length over a series of enormous salads. It was the same when I ran away from Scott on the skiing holiday. I was in delayed shock for weeks and was horribly high maintenance.

‘But I really need to get away,’ I whined. ‘That last holiday was worse than useless. I need to erase it from my mind, and there’s only one way to shift the memory of a bad holiday and that’s to have another holiday.’

An opportunity suddenly came from nowhere. A few days later, while out horse-riding with three of my girlfriends, one of them said, ‘I’ve just been sent a catalogue for one of those trail rides. It looks brilliant. We box up the horses and drive to Oxfordshire and stay in this farm, and then the next day we ride until we get to another place and we stay there overnight. And so on until we’re back to the start again. It’s only £500 all in and we get to ride across some beautiful countryside.’

What could possibly go wrong with a nice gentle riding holiday in Oxfordshire? How could this fail to be relaxing, healthy, wholesome and fun?

‘Let’s do it,’ I said.

The gamekeeper couldn’t wipe the smirk off his face. ‘So, let me get this right. The four of you ladies are going to box up your horses and go on a trail ride across Oxfordshire?’ he said, taking a long drag on his roll-up.

‘Yes, and what of it?’

‘Got a map, have you?’

‘Yes, we’ve got a map. Lots of maps, actually, Ordnance Survey ones.’

‘And a compass?’

‘I’m sure we will have a compass, yes.’

‘Maybe you should take your satnav.’

‘Look, what is this? Just because four women are going on a riding holiday does not mean we are going to get hopelessly lost.’

‘Right you are then.’

‘I mean it. We know what we’re doing.’

‘Of course you do.’

He picked up his gun, stubbed out his cigarette and got up from the stable yard tearoom table to go.

‘I’ll speak to you later then. When you call me from a field to come and pick you up.’

‘We will not be calling you from a field to ask you to come and pick us up. We will be fine.’

But deep down I knew that wouldn’t be the case. It was an ill-starred trip that started with a warning from the gamekeeper. As any fool knows, the gamekeeper is always right. In the ten years I had kept my horses on this particular farm the gamekeeper had never once been wrong about anything.

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